Sardar landon me

Sardar landon me duble dekar bus me chadha
Conductor ne use uper bheja
Sardar bhaga bhaga niche wapas aaya aur bola Marwayega kya?
Uper to Driver hi nahi hai.

Nakkalon se Savdhan

Nakkalon se Savdhan asli SMS ki pahchan
Hamara har SMS anokha aur aapki mang ke mutabiq naya hota hai
Purane gise pite aur Bajaaru SMS se parhej kijiye.

Bewkoof aur Akalmand

Santa- Bewkoof me aur Akalmand me koi fark nahi hota hai.
Banta- Kaise ?
Santa- Kyuki donno samajhte hai ki wo sab kuch jante hai.

Chotu papa se kahna

Ek sarabi roz Shiv ji ke mandir me jata tha
Ek din pujari ne Shiv ji ki jagah Ganesh ji ki murti rakhi
Sarabi aaya sir teka aur pranam karke bola chotu papa se kahna uncle aaye the

Bhaisahab time kya hua hai

Santa- Bhaisahab time kya hua hai?
Man- 6 PM
Santa- Saala subah se puch raha hu sab alag lag time bata rahe hai.

Ishq farmane ke baad

Aur bhi bahut si cheeze lut chu-ki hai dil ke saath
Ye bataya dosto ne ishq farmane ke baad
Is liye kamray ki ek ek cheez check karta hoon main
Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaa-ne ke baad

Badla

Ek fauji ki girlfriend ne usko khat likha ki meri life me naya ladka aa gaya hai tumse accha
Mai uski dulhan banungi tum meri photo wapas kar do

Fauji ne Apne Dosto ki girlfriends ki photo bhej di aur kaha tumhari sakal yaad nahi hai
isme se jo tumhari ho nikal lo

Pari Akash me udti hai

Beta- Maa kya Pari Akash me udti hai?
Maa- haa.
Beta-To humari kaam wali baai kyo nahi udti hai ?
Maa- wo pari nahi hai.
Beta- Par papa to use pari kahte hai!
Maa- To kal subah ud jayegi.

Sardar call customer care

Sardar call customer care
Sardar : sir meri bhains ne mera sim kha liya aur bhag gayi hai
customer care : to mai kya kar sakta hu!
Sardar : ji puchana ye tha ki roming to nahi lagega

NO DISE

Lalu : Kal 3 ghante tak ek angreji (English) film dekha sasura na kauno awaz na kauno foto tha
Rabri : Ka nam tha filam ka ji ?
Lalu : NO DISE INSERTED

I Love You

Girl : Papa ek ladka mujhe hamesha I Love You bolta hai mai bahut pareshan ho gayi hu.
Santa : Beta usse shadi kar lo fir tumhe wo kabhi I Love You nahi bolega.

Discovery wale

Sher sherni ko kiss karne laga
Sherni usko rok ke idhar udhar dekhne lagi
Sher : Kya hua ?
Sherni : Dekh rahi hu kahi Discovery wale to nahi hai na
saale MMS bana dete hai.

Ladki walo ne kaha hai

Sardar apni shadi ke din udas baitha tha
kisi ne pucha kya baat hai?
Sardar : Yaar ladki walo ne kaha hai ki jyada log nahi lana ab pata nahi papa mujhe le jayenge ya nahi.

Mirror

Boss-Ek Accha Mirror Leke Avao Jisme Muje Mera Chehra Dikaye De

Sardar-Boss Mai Sab Dukan Gaya Per Sabme

Mere Hi Chehra Dikha

Apka Chehra Diknewala Nhi Mila

Chain msg

Chain msg by santa - plz iss msg ko itna forward karo ki .........
meri girl friend tak pahuch jaye.............
(jaan)tune sim change karke achha nahi kiya................

Saalo ticket hum le

Sardar flite me pilot ka headphone cheenne laga
Pilot - ye kya kar rahe ho ?
Sardar - Saalo ticket hum le aur gaana tum sunoge ?

Pani nahi milaya

Indian ko sarab peeta dekh ek American bola - pani nahi milaya ?
indian - Abe angrej ki aulad hum indian hai humare muh me to sarab dekhte hi paani aa jata hai phir pani milane ka kya kam

Answered from the iron

A guy walks into work, with bandeged ear.
The boss says, "What happened to your ear?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh!
I accidentally answered from the iron."

Bura maan liya

Rose is Lal
Sky is Nila,
Ur brain is like Khali Patila.
Bura maan liya?

O.K

Rose is red
Sky is blue,
I born smart
What d hell happened to u?
Thora sa or bura maan lo!

Agar tera pyaar

Agar tera pyaar pana hai ...

arz farmaiye

agar tera pyaar pana hai ..

to.


mera pyaar screw-driver hai!

lol.. shukriya shukriya

Saala is kal kal ke

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain

Kaun Saala

Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?

College ki girls

College ki girls ne strike kiya...
Boys ne bhi unka sath diya...

Girls ne zor se kaha
" Hamari maange .... "


Boys ne piche se kaha
"Sindur se bharo" .

Kaal kitne prakar hote hai

Hindi teacher asks santa:
Kaal kitne prakar hote hai?
Santa: 6 prakar k
local call , std call , ISD call , missed call, received call and dailed call.

A girl msgd

A girl msgd hr bfriend-

"If u r sleeping,
send me ur drm"

"If u r crying,
snd me ur tears"

"If u r laughing,
snd me ur smile"

Boy repld- toilet me hun.

Car se takra k

Car se takra k kabutar Behosh ho gaya.
1 aadmi use ghar le gaya,
Pinzre me rakha
Kabutar ko hosh Aya to bola-
"AAILA JAIL HO GAI,Wo CAR Wala Mar gaya kya..?

Jane anjane me

Jane
anjane
me
agar
HUMNE
aapka
dil
dukhaya
ho,
kabhi
tang
kiya
ho,
galti
ki
ho
uske
liye










jo
aapse
ho
sakta
hai
karlo
Hum
Nahi SUDHRENGE.

Wah Wah

Kabutar ne kr di Burger pe Shit

Wah Wah

Kabutar ne kr di Burger pe Shit

Wah Wah



& U R Still Saying
I'M Loving it!

Ghar nai aa sakta

Santa calls wife:
Ghar nai aa skta,car ka steering,gear sb chori ho gya h.






AFTER
5
MINUTES










"Aa raha hoon .Phle galti se peeche wali seat par baith gaya tha"

Chor pakadne ki

Chor pakadne ki machine bani
USA me-1 din me 9 pkde gaye
CHINA me-30
UK me-50
or INDIA me-

1 gante me machine chori ho gayi.
EasT or WesT INDIA is d bst.

Biwi ko Talak

Santa:Yaar tune apni Biwi ko Talak kyu diya?
Sardar:Yaar wo badi character less thi.Shaadi mujhse ki aur Baccha Bhagwan se mangti thi

Factory ke bahar

Santa to boss:- sir, ab meri shadi ho gayi hai isliye meri pay bara dijiye
Boss:- factory ke bahar hue hadson ke liye factory jimedar nahi hai

Difference between

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Agar main kho gayi to

Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....KHUSH RAHO

Life me hamesha

Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho...
taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum...




" UNMARRIED" ho.

Common between

Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!

After finishing

After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch &
Finally Said:"Oye, Torch is okay"

Calculator

Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa?
Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..

Lunch box

Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office..

Duplicate key

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar:We lost the duplicate key!!

I MISS YOU

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend:
"I MISS YOU"
Sardarji replied:
"I Mr. YOU" !!

Bombay

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay.While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ! Bombay !!"
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay! Ombay!!

MS Office

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Papad aur jhapad

CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

Akal bari ki bhains

PROFESSOR: Akal bari ki bhains?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.

Chand toh raat ko

MAMU: Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL:Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol para?

Marks kam hai.

Boy- itni udas kyo ho?
girl- marks kam hai.
boy- kitne hai?
girl- 88%
boy-itne me to 2 ladke paas ho jaate hai!!!!!!!!!

Latter to Shiv Ji

Ek boy wrote a latter to Shiv Ji
hey Shiv Ji plz give me a cycle
1 week pass he didn't get cycle then he took a statue of Ganesh Ji
An again write to Shiv Ji
"Mr Shiv ji ur son is in my custody if u want him give me a cycle whithin 24 hrs."

Patient ko behosh

Munnabhai- Circuit ye Dr. log operation se pahle patient ko behosh kyo karte hai
circuit- bhai bole to patient agar seekh gaya to Dr. ke dhandhe ki WAAAt lag jayegi

Paglo ke sardar

Ek bar ek pagal mentel hospital me jakar bola
"mujhe yaha ke paglo ke sardar se milna hai"
Dusra pagal "dhere bolo sardar SMS padh rahe hai"

Mazaak me mat talna

Ek baat puchu?
Mazaak me mat talna Golmal jawab Nahi chalega
Dekhho kuch bate Zindagi me bahut aham hoti hai sach batana



Iss DIWALI pe nahaoge ki nahi

Yashomati Maiyya Se

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …

Waah! Waah!

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …





“Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala .

Kal tak thee jo

Arz kiya hai…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…Aaj ho gayee hai past…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…Aaj ho gayee hai past…
.
.
.
.
Offer valid till stocks last.

Ratan Tata

Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
.
.
.
.

“itni sakti hamen dena data ”

Mein hoon yahan

Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan…
Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
.
.
.
.
LIFEBOUY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan…

Mehngai ki iss daur mein

Mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
.
.
.
.
Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu…

Sabse haseen

Mosam shabab ka
Nasha sharab ka
Parda janab ka
Aur rang gulab ka
In main sabse haseen to dekho
SMS parhne wala “Mendak talab ka”

Taste of ginger

Taste this SMS
Did u feel the taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..



Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad!!

Hindi tera baap

A Tamilian call up sardar and asks "Tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

BC 1760

2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

Sardar on an interview

A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ...

Sardar at bar

Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"

Pass the custard

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you b@$!@7)"

Liquid state

Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....Audience clapped..
Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.

DRIVING salary

Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?

Moon is more impt

Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!

Post office

Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend ' u said v will do register marriage and cheated me,
I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.

Murgha No.5

Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya,

kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar

larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling

Kaun Banega Crorepati

Pathan Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein:

Q: What is you father name?

Pathan: Plz Options?

A. Dilawar B. Changez

C. Feroz D. Sultan

Pathan: Life line 50/50 A.Dilawar C.Feroze

Pathan: Audience Vote. 75%Dilawar 25%Feroze

Pathan: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”Kisko call karengy?

Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko!