Murgha No.5

Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya,

kuch baat ke baad uski girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.

Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar

larky ne socha ke chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?

Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling

Kaun Banega Crorepati

Pathan Kaun Banega Crorepati Mein:

Q: What is you father name?

Pathan: Plz Options?

A. Dilawar B. Changez

C. Feroz D. Sultan

Pathan: Life line 50/50 A.Dilawar C.Feroze

Pathan: Audience Vote. 75%Dilawar 25%Feroze

Pathan: I want to use My last life line “Phone a friend.”Kisko call karengy?

Pathan: Apne baap dilawar ko!

Aapka kya iraada hai

Biwi: “Aap ne pichle saal meri birthday pe mujhe lohay ka bed banwa ke diya tha, Iss dafa aapka kya iraada hai?”

Shohar: “Iss saal uss mein current chorne ka iraada hai.”

Battery Low

Friend1: Are yaar ye mobile to mujhe kangaal kar dega.

Friend2: Kyu?

Friend1: Baar baar dikhaata hai “Battery Low” ab tak 56 battery badal chuka hoon!

Mummy se bina poochey

Beta papa se: Papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.

Papa thandi saans lete hue: Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon

Sharab se itni nafrat

Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!

Car jo bechni padi

krish :Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!

Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?

Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.

Impossible word hi nahi

Nepolian ek Sardarji ko bade garv se kehata hai : Mere dictionary mein impossible word hi nahi hai.

Sardarji bolata hai : To pahele hi acchi tarah se dekh lene ka na sab word hai ke nahi, aage se word rahenge wohi dictionary le.

Break

Ek pathan Cycle chalate aur gungunate howe kahin ja raha tha rastae mein ek aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli, “Break nahi maar sakte they kya ???”
Pathan herat se… “Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida.”

Podho ko pani

Sardar: Mere podho ko pani de ramu.
Ramu: Sir barish gir rahi hai!
Sardar: Bahana nahi chahiae, chata leke ja…

6 ladkiya

Pandit : Tumhare jeevan mein 6 ladkiya aayengi.

Santa: Wow, kya baat hai.

Pandit: Zyada khush honey ki baat nahi hai. Ek gharwali aur 5 betiya hai..

Bomb hai

Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.

Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.

Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.

Laalu & Rabri

Rabri : Ka karat ho?

Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!

Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.

Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.

Car ki break

Sardar : O banno car ki speed itni kyon badha di?

Banno : Oji car ki break fail ho gayi hai, accident ho jaye iske pehle ghar pahunch jaate hain….!

Drunk n driving

10% of road accidents are due to drunk n driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!
Piyo Sar Utha Ke!

Exams walo ka

Din me chain nahi, raat ko neend nahi
Jee nahi lagta hai kahin Ae Khuda kya ye pyaar hai??
“Nahi beta sabhi exams walo ka yehi haal hai”

Very sweet

Santa sent SMS to his BOSS: Me sick, no work.
Boss SMS back: When I am sick I kiss my wife try it.
Two hours later
Santa sms 2 boss: Me ok, ur wife very sweet.

Majak karne ki aadat

Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai, meri samajhdari ya meri beauty.
Husband: Mujhe toh yeh tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai.

Mera toh ho gaya

Santa: Main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per Sher tha.Banta: Phir kya hua?Santa: Maine Sher se kaha, “Pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.”

Begum kyun kehte hai

Two married friends Rahul and Rohan talking on the topic of the married woman,

Rahul: Wife ko begum kyun kehte hai?

Rohan: Kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai…

Slow poison

Munna : Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette ek tarah say slow poison ka kaam karta hai.
Patient : Toh mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai

Operation dobara

Munna: Bolay to apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga.
Patient: Kyun???
Munna: Kyun k apun kay rubber k gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay gloves ki payment kar doon ga

Fees bahut zyada hai

Munna : Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit : Aey Bhai!!! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna : Bolay to meri fees bahut zyada hai.

Gandhi Jayanti

LECTURER: Write a note on Gandhi Jayanti.
CIRCUIT WRITES: Gandhi was a great man, but maa kasam i dont know who is Jayanti. Koi locha-lafda hoga buddhe ka!

Salmaan Khan thay

Munna Bhai: Aay circuit, baapu bole toh gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?

Circuit: Bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke Salmaan Khan thay!!

Baap ka naam

CIRCUIT : Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kyu likh raha hai?SHORT CIRCUIT : Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai

Oxford kya hai

MUNNA BHAI : Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI : Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT : Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi

Pehle wo Kharch kar

Santa-ALLAH k Naam pe Kuch de do
Banta 100 ka Note Dikhate Hue Kya Tumhre Paas 50 he
Bhikari Khushi se-Ji ha
Santa:To Pehle wo Kharch kar

So Jayenge tab

Santa ka Beta-Papa Mujh ko BAAJA dilao
Santa:Nahi tum sab ko tang Karoge
Beta:Nahi Papa Kasam se jab sub so Jayenge tab me Bajaunga

Surprise

Santa ka baap UK se aya
Baap-Teri maa kaha he?
Santa-Vo to mar gayi
Baap-Saale tune muje Bataya Q nahi?
Santa-Mene socha surprise Du.

PHD

Manager: What is ur Qualification?
Santa:I am PHD
Manager:what do u mean by PHD?
Santa:Passed Highschool with Difficulty..

Khushnasib Kaun

Girl-SantaJi Mere 2 Lovers H
Un 2no me se Kis k sath Shadi hogi
Wo Khushnasib Kon Hoga?
Santaji-Pehle Se Shadi Hogi or 2sra Khushnasib hoga.

Marne Ki Kya Baat Thi

Frog:Tumhare Paas Dimag Nhi He
Santa:He
Frog:Nahi He
Santa:He
Frog pani me Kud gaya


Santa:Isme Marne Ki Kya Baat Thi

Coca Cola

Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola

Asal Zindagi

Koi Magrur hokar pita hai,
koi Mazabur hokar pita hai.
Kambakht is sharab ko pine ke bad he
Aadami asal Zindagi jeeta hai.

WAH WAH

Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!

Mobile rakhne laga

Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!

Bukhaar ho jaata hai

Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.

Kutton ke sardar

Arz hai
Unki galiyon ke chakkar kaatte kaatte
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum

kutton ke sardar ho gaye.

M.B.A.

Congrats, U have been awarded
An M.B.A degreeFor not Smsing me.
MBA means ‘Member of Bhikari Association’

Kindly forward it to all M.B.A’s.

Bakri kha gayi

Arz kiya hai:Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi,
bahaar aane se pehle fize aa gayi,
Aur phool khilne se pehle…..….











bakri kha gayi

Badla Lene Ka Tarika

Santa: Operation Me mujhe Kuch Ho Gya To Doctor Se Shadi Kar Lena
Wife: Aisa Kyu Kah RaheHo?
santa: Q Ki Badla Lene Ka Yahi Tarika he

Dimag kharab mat kar

Santa-Beta agar tum fail ho jao to mujhe papa mat kehna
(Some days later)
Papa-Bete result ka kya hua?
Santa-Dimag kharab mat kar "MangiLal