Sardar landon me duble dekar bus me chadha
Conductor ne use uper bheja
Sardar bhaga bhaga niche wapas aaya aur bola Marwayega kya?
Uper to Driver hi nahi hai.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Nakkalon se Savdhan
Nakkalon se Savdhan asli SMS ki pahchan
Hamara har SMS anokha aur aapki mang ke mutabiq naya hota hai
Purane gise pite aur Bajaaru SMS se parhej kijiye.
Hamara har SMS anokha aur aapki mang ke mutabiq naya hota hai
Purane gise pite aur Bajaaru SMS se parhej kijiye.
Bewkoof aur Akalmand
Santa- Bewkoof me aur Akalmand me koi fark nahi hota hai.
Banta- Kaise ?
Santa- Kyuki donno samajhte hai ki wo sab kuch jante hai.
Banta- Kaise ?
Santa- Kyuki donno samajhte hai ki wo sab kuch jante hai.
Chotu papa se kahna
Ek sarabi roz Shiv ji ke mandir me jata tha
Ek din pujari ne Shiv ji ki jagah Ganesh ji ki murti rakhi
Sarabi aaya sir teka aur pranam karke bola chotu papa se kahna uncle aaye the
Ek din pujari ne Shiv ji ki jagah Ganesh ji ki murti rakhi
Sarabi aaya sir teka aur pranam karke bola chotu papa se kahna uncle aaye the
Bhaisahab time kya hua hai
Santa- Bhaisahab time kya hua hai?
Man- 6 PM
Santa- Saala subah se puch raha hu sab alag lag time bata rahe hai.
Man- 6 PM
Santa- Saala subah se puch raha hu sab alag lag time bata rahe hai.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Ishq farmane ke baad
Aur bhi bahut si cheeze lut chu-ki hai dil ke saath
Ye bataya dosto ne ishq farmane ke baad
Is liye kamray ki ek ek cheez check karta hoon main
Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaa-ne ke baad
Ye bataya dosto ne ishq farmane ke baad
Is liye kamray ki ek ek cheez check karta hoon main
Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaa-ne ke baad
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Badla
Ek fauji ki girlfriend ne usko khat likha ki meri life me naya ladka aa gaya hai tumse accha
Mai uski dulhan banungi tum meri photo wapas kar do
Fauji ne Apne Dosto ki girlfriends ki photo bhej di aur kaha tumhari sakal yaad nahi hai
isme se jo tumhari ho nikal lo
Mai uski dulhan banungi tum meri photo wapas kar do
Fauji ne Apne Dosto ki girlfriends ki photo bhej di aur kaha tumhari sakal yaad nahi hai
isme se jo tumhari ho nikal lo
Pari Akash me udti hai
Beta- Maa kya Pari Akash me udti hai?
Maa- haa.
Beta-To humari kaam wali baai kyo nahi udti hai ?
Maa- wo pari nahi hai.
Beta- Par papa to use pari kahte hai!
Maa- To kal subah ud jayegi.
Maa- haa.
Beta-To humari kaam wali baai kyo nahi udti hai ?
Maa- wo pari nahi hai.
Beta- Par papa to use pari kahte hai!
Maa- To kal subah ud jayegi.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sardar call customer care
Sardar call customer care
Sardar : sir meri bhains ne mera sim kha liya aur bhag gayi hai
customer care : to mai kya kar sakta hu!
Sardar : ji puchana ye tha ki roming to nahi lagega
Sardar : sir meri bhains ne mera sim kha liya aur bhag gayi hai
customer care : to mai kya kar sakta hu!
Sardar : ji puchana ye tha ki roming to nahi lagega
NO DISE
Lalu : Kal 3 ghante tak ek angreji (English) film dekha sasura na kauno awaz na kauno foto tha
Rabri : Ka nam tha filam ka ji ?
Lalu : NO DISE INSERTED
Rabri : Ka nam tha filam ka ji ?
Lalu : NO DISE INSERTED
I Love You
Girl : Papa ek ladka mujhe hamesha I Love You bolta hai mai bahut pareshan ho gayi hu.
Santa : Beta usse shadi kar lo fir tumhe wo kabhi I Love You nahi bolega.
Santa : Beta usse shadi kar lo fir tumhe wo kabhi I Love You nahi bolega.
Discovery wale
Sher sherni ko kiss karne laga
Sherni usko rok ke idhar udhar dekhne lagi
Sher : Kya hua ?
Sherni : Dekh rahi hu kahi Discovery wale to nahi hai na
saale MMS bana dete hai.
Sherni usko rok ke idhar udhar dekhne lagi
Sher : Kya hua ?
Sherni : Dekh rahi hu kahi Discovery wale to nahi hai na
saale MMS bana dete hai.
Ladki walo ne kaha hai
Sardar apni shadi ke din udas baitha tha
kisi ne pucha kya baat hai?
Sardar : Yaar ladki walo ne kaha hai ki jyada log nahi lana ab pata nahi papa mujhe le jayenge ya nahi.
kisi ne pucha kya baat hai?
Sardar : Yaar ladki walo ne kaha hai ki jyada log nahi lana ab pata nahi papa mujhe le jayenge ya nahi.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Mirror
Boss-Ek Accha Mirror Leke Avao Jisme Muje Mera Chehra Dikaye De
Sardar-Boss Mai Sab Dukan Gaya Per Sabme
Mere Hi Chehra Dikha
Apka Chehra Diknewala Nhi Mila
Monday, November 8, 2010
Chain msg
Chain msg by santa - plz iss msg ko itna forward karo ki .........
meri girl friend tak pahuch jaye.............
(jaan)tune sim change karke achha nahi kiya................
meri girl friend tak pahuch jaye.............
(jaan)tune sim change karke achha nahi kiya................
Saalo ticket hum le
Sardar flite me pilot ka headphone cheenne laga
Pilot - ye kya kar rahe ho ?
Sardar - Saalo ticket hum le aur gaana tum sunoge ?
Pilot - ye kya kar rahe ho ?
Sardar - Saalo ticket hum le aur gaana tum sunoge ?
Pani nahi milaya
Indian ko sarab peeta dekh ek American bola - pani nahi milaya ?
indian - Abe angrej ki aulad hum indian hai humare muh me to sarab dekhte hi paani aa jata hai phir pani milane ka kya kam
indian - Abe angrej ki aulad hum indian hai humare muh me to sarab dekhte hi paani aa jata hai phir pani milane ka kya kam
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Answered from the iron
A guy walks into work, with bandeged ear.
The boss says, "What happened to your ear?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh!
I accidentally answered from the iron."
The boss says, "What happened to your ear?"
He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh!
I accidentally answered from the iron."
Bura maan liya
Rose is Lal
Sky is Nila,
Ur brain is like Khali Patila.
Bura maan liya?
O.K
Rose is red
Sky is blue,
I born smart
What d hell happened to u?
Thora sa or bura maan lo!
Sky is Nila,
Ur brain is like Khali Patila.
Bura maan liya?
O.K
Rose is red
Sky is blue,
I born smart
What d hell happened to u?
Thora sa or bura maan lo!
Agar tera pyaar
Agar tera pyaar pana hai ...
arz farmaiye
agar tera pyaar pana hai ..
to.
mera pyaar screw-driver hai!
lol.. shukriya shukriya
arz farmaiye
agar tera pyaar pana hai ..
to.
mera pyaar screw-driver hai!
lol.. shukriya shukriya
Saala is kal kal ke
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain
Kaun Saala
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'Sa Law' kehta hai?
College ki girls
College ki girls ne strike kiya...
Boys ne bhi unka sath diya...
Girls ne zor se kaha
" Hamari maange .... "
Boys ne piche se kaha
"Sindur se bharo" .
Boys ne bhi unka sath diya...
Girls ne zor se kaha
" Hamari maange .... "
Boys ne piche se kaha
"Sindur se bharo" .
Kaal kitne prakar hote hai
Hindi teacher asks santa:
Kaal kitne prakar hote hai?
Santa: 6 prakar k
local call , std call , ISD call , missed call, received call and dailed call.
Kaal kitne prakar hote hai?
Santa: 6 prakar k
local call , std call , ISD call , missed call, received call and dailed call.
A girl msgd
A girl msgd hr bfriend-
"If u r sleeping,
send me ur drm"
"If u r crying,
snd me ur tears"
"If u r laughing,
snd me ur smile"
Boy repld- toilet me hun.
"If u r sleeping,
send me ur drm"
"If u r crying,
snd me ur tears"
"If u r laughing,
snd me ur smile"
Boy repld- toilet me hun.
Car se takra k
Car se takra k kabutar Behosh ho gaya.
1 aadmi use ghar le gaya,
Pinzre me rakha
Kabutar ko hosh Aya to bola-
"AAILA JAIL HO GAI,Wo CAR Wala Mar gaya kya..?
1 aadmi use ghar le gaya,
Pinzre me rakha
Kabutar ko hosh Aya to bola-
"AAILA JAIL HO GAI,Wo CAR Wala Mar gaya kya..?
Jane anjane me
Jane
anjane
me
agar
HUMNE
aapka
dil
dukhaya
ho,
kabhi
tang
kiya
ho,
galti
ki
ho
uske
liye
jo
aapse
ho
sakta
hai
karlo
Hum
Nahi SUDHRENGE.
anjane
me
agar
HUMNE
aapka
dil
dukhaya
ho,
kabhi
tang
kiya
ho,
galti
ki
ho
uske
liye
jo
aapse
ho
sakta
hai
karlo
Hum
Nahi SUDHRENGE.
Wah Wah
Kabutar ne kr di Burger pe Shit
Wah Wah
Kabutar ne kr di Burger pe Shit
Wah Wah
& U R Still Saying
I'M Loving it!
Wah Wah
Kabutar ne kr di Burger pe Shit
Wah Wah
& U R Still Saying
I'M Loving it!
Ghar nai aa sakta
Santa calls wife:
Ghar nai aa skta,car ka steering,gear sb chori ho gya h.
AFTER
5
MINUTES
"Aa raha hoon .Phle galti se peeche wali seat par baith gaya tha"
Ghar nai aa skta,car ka steering,gear sb chori ho gya h.
AFTER
5
MINUTES
"Aa raha hoon .Phle galti se peeche wali seat par baith gaya tha"
Chor pakadne ki
Chor pakadne ki machine bani
USA me-1 din me 9 pkde gaye
CHINA me-30
UK me-50
or INDIA me-
1 gante me machine chori ho gayi.
EasT or WesT INDIA is d bst.
USA me-1 din me 9 pkde gaye
CHINA me-30
UK me-50
or INDIA me-
1 gante me machine chori ho gayi.
EasT or WesT INDIA is d bst.
Biwi ko Talak
Santa:Yaar tune apni Biwi ko Talak kyu diya?
Sardar:Yaar wo badi character less thi.Shaadi mujhse ki aur Baccha Bhagwan se mangti thi
Sardar:Yaar wo badi character less thi.Shaadi mujhse ki aur Baccha Bhagwan se mangti thi
Factory ke bahar
Santa to boss:- sir, ab meri shadi ho gayi hai isliye meri pay bara dijiye
Boss:- factory ke bahar hue hadson ke liye factory jimedar nahi hai
Boss:- factory ke bahar hue hadson ke liye factory jimedar nahi hai
Friday, November 5, 2010
Difference between
Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
Agar main kho gayi to
Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....KHUSH RAHO
Husband - main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho.....KHUSH RAHO
Life me hamesha
Life me hamesha Haste raho,muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho...
taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum...
" UNMARRIED" ho.
taki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye k tum...
" UNMARRIED" ho.
Common between
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDDHA?"
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!
Sardar: "All are born on government holidays...! !!
After finishing
After finishing MBBS Sardar started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch &
Finally Said:"Oye, Torch is okay"
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch &
Finally Said:"Oye, Torch is okay"
Calculator
Son: papa, 4+3 kithne hai?
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa?
Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..
Sardar: ullu ke patthe gadhe idiot naalaayak besharam tujhe kuch nahi aathaa?
Jaa andhar se CALCULATOR le ke Aa..
Lunch box
Why Sardar opens his lunch box in the middle of the road???
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office..
Just 2 confirm whether he is going to or coming back from the office..
Duplicate key
Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar:We lost the duplicate key!!
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr: Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key
Dr: So why did you come today?
Sardar:We lost the duplicate key!!
Bombay
Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay.While its landing he shouted: " Bombay ! Bombay !!"
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay! Ombay!!
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Sardar: "Ok. Ombay! Ombay!!
MS Office
Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.
Papad aur jhapad
CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
Akal bari ki bhains
PROFESSOR: Akal bari ki bhains?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
Chand toh raat ko
MAMU: Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL:Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol para?
GIRL:Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol para?
Marks kam hai.
Boy- itni udas kyo ho?
girl- marks kam hai.
boy- kitne hai?
girl- 88%
boy-itne me to 2 ladke paas ho jaate hai!!!!!!!!!
girl- marks kam hai.
boy- kitne hai?
girl- 88%
boy-itne me to 2 ladke paas ho jaate hai!!!!!!!!!
Latter to Shiv Ji
Ek boy wrote a latter to Shiv Ji
hey Shiv Ji plz give me a cycle
1 week pass he didn't get cycle then he took a statue of Ganesh Ji
An again write to Shiv Ji
"Mr Shiv ji ur son is in my custody if u want him give me a cycle whithin 24 hrs."
hey Shiv Ji plz give me a cycle
1 week pass he didn't get cycle then he took a statue of Ganesh Ji
An again write to Shiv Ji
"Mr Shiv ji ur son is in my custody if u want him give me a cycle whithin 24 hrs."
Patient ko behosh
Munnabhai- Circuit ye Dr. log operation se pahle patient ko behosh kyo karte hai
circuit- bhai bole to patient agar seekh gaya to Dr. ke dhandhe ki WAAAt lag jayegi
circuit- bhai bole to patient agar seekh gaya to Dr. ke dhandhe ki WAAAt lag jayegi
Paglo ke sardar
Ek bar ek pagal mentel hospital me jakar bola
"mujhe yaha ke paglo ke sardar se milna hai"
Dusra pagal "dhere bolo sardar SMS padh rahe hai"
"mujhe yaha ke paglo ke sardar se milna hai"
Dusra pagal "dhere bolo sardar SMS padh rahe hai"
Mazaak me mat talna
Ek baat puchu?
Mazaak me mat talna Golmal jawab Nahi chalega
Dekhho kuch bate Zindagi me bahut aham hoti hai sach batana
Iss DIWALI pe nahaoge ki nahi
Mazaak me mat talna Golmal jawab Nahi chalega
Dekhho kuch bate Zindagi me bahut aham hoti hai sach batana
Iss DIWALI pe nahaoge ki nahi
Yashomati Maiyya Se
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …
Waah! Waah!
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …
“Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala .
Waah! Waah!
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala …
“Maa, Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala .
Kal tak thee jo
Arz kiya hai…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…Aaj ho gayee hai past…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…Aaj ho gayee hai past…
.
.
.
.
Offer valid till stocks last.
Kal tak thee jo meri present…Aaj ho gayee hai past…
Kal tak thee jo meri present…Aaj ho gayee hai past…
.
.
.
.
Offer valid till stocks last.
Ratan Tata
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
Ratan Tata ne establish kiya TATA..
.
.
.
.
“itni sakti hamen dena data ”
Mein hoon yahan
Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan…
Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
.
.
.
.
LIFEBOUY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan…
Mein hoon yahan tu hai wahan..
.
.
.
.
LIFEBOUY hai jahan tandurusti hai wahan…
Mehngai ki iss daur mein
Mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
.
.
.
.
Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu…
mehngai ki iss daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo..
.
.
.
.
Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh babu…
Sabse haseen
Mosam shabab ka
Nasha sharab ka
Parda janab ka
Aur rang gulab ka
In main sabse haseen to dekho
SMS parhne wala “Mendak talab ka”
Nasha sharab ka
Parda janab ka
Aur rang gulab ka
In main sabse haseen to dekho
SMS parhne wala “Mendak talab ka”
Taste of ginger
Taste this SMS
Did u feel the taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad!!
Did u feel the taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
Bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad!!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Hindi tera baap
A Tamilian call up sardar and asks "Tamil therima??"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
Sardar got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"
BC 1760
2 sardarjis looking at Egyptian mummy.
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
Sar 1 : Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.
Sar 2 : Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....
Sardar on an interview
A sardar on an interview 4 da post detective.
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ...
Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?
Sardar : Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating. ...
Sardar at bar
Sardar at bar in New York .
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"
Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"
Sardar says - "Baljith Singh Married"
Pass the custard
Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you b@$!@7)"
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you b@$!@7)"
Liquid state
Amitab : In which state Cauvery flows?
Sardar : liquid state.....Audience clapped..
Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.
Sardar : liquid state.....Audience clapped..
Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS.
DRIVING salary
Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, is it o.k
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
Sardar : U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but??
how much is DRIVING salary...?
Moon is more impt
Sardar's theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during the day when light is not needed!
Post office
Sardar shouting 2 his girl friend ' u said v will do register marriage and cheated me,
I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.
I was waiting 4 u yesterday whole day in the post office.
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